Reisman: Brother, can you spare a job?

The spoils system is alive and well. Did you know that Larry "the Brain" Schwartz had a brother?

Yes, his name is Robert Schwartz.

As a joke I was going to say his name is Mycroft Schwartz, but then I would have to go through a tortuous and ultimately unfunny explanation that Mycroft was the smarter brother of the fictional Sherlock Holmes. And to tell you the God's honest truth, I'm not in a laughing mood.

In case you missed it, Larry's sibling was recently appointed by Gov. Andrew Cuomo to serve as a judge on the Court of Claims. This represents quite a promotion for Robert, who has been serving as an assistant district attorney from Nassau County at a salary of $122,528.64.

His new pay will be $174,000. With that kind of bump in pay one assumes the drinks were on him afterwards at the Pig Trough Saloon in downtown Albany, a watering hole for the politically connected that does not exist—though it should.

Some people confuse the Court of Claims with small claims, like it has something to do with the petty bickering of those troglodytic mouth breathers who appear before Judge Judy. Actually, the court exclusively deals with civil litigation brought before the state of New York. It is not considered to be an easy or insignificant job, but it is a traditional haven for patronage.

Robert Schwartz is among four of the 12 appointees to the court who reportedly have ties to Cuomo.

Cuomo's office says they are all qualified and perhaps they are. Still, you have to wonder how many other assistant prosecutors from here to Erie County are wondering — hey, I'm smart and I look good in a black robe, why can't I get that gig?

Why? Because it is a matter of whom you know, that's why.

Before he took an executive position with a company that does interior design for airport terminals, Larry Schwartz was Cuomo's right hand man. He's a tough guy, a brilliant fixer who is both respected and despised by the people he's leaned on in Albany as well as in Westchester where he served a similar role under County Executive Andy Spano. He was Spano's surrogate brain.

Schwartz knows where all the bodies are buried. Cuomo owes Schwartz.

Enter Mycroft, er, I mean, Robert.

The State of Politics blog last week reported an amusing encounter between the appointee and the Senate Judiciary Committee that tells us all we need to know about the tense relationship between Larry Schwartz and the people whose arms he deftly twisted as Cuomo's secretary.

"Are you related to Larry Schwartz, by any chance?" one senator asked Robert.

Another senator chimed in, "We won't hold that against you."

That was meant as a joke. Ha, ha.

All of this happened while a much bigger story continued to develop in the corrupt confines of the state capital — that being the indictment of Senate Majority Leader Dean Skelos.

Skelos is fighting for his political life, and appears to be losing. On Monday, he was stripped of his leadership position.

Now he must fight to stay out of jail.

Skelos was one of "Three Amigos," the power troika that included Cuomo and Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, another alleged crook.

Cuomo is the last amigo.

In politics, it's usually money that makes amigos. That $50,000 hike in pay should certainly make Robert Schwartz happy.

And so are fast-food workers who took great encouragement from Cuomo's stated intention to establish a special commission that would unilaterally raise their salaries to wage that is more or less livable.

Interestingly, he also asked for a commission to look into raising the salaries of state legislators, whose base pay has been frozen at $79,900 since 1997.

If you don't think the two commissions are related, think of it this way: Both involve the study of high-volume industries that mostly produce indigestion.

The difference is only one has anything to do with honest work.

Email: preisman@lohud.com Twitter: @philreisman