Babysitter brush-off myths, busted
Nobody seems to use babysitters anymore. Our parents had no qualms about leaving us with the ditzy teenager from down the street who spent the entire time on the house’s only phone (rotary, natch), yet nowadays there’s a pervasive sense of being somehow unable to leave our children for a night out. As a proud user of babysitters myself, I’d like to poke a few holes in some of the more frequent excuses I’ve heard from my fellow parents, and encourage you all to get out of the house once and a while!
They're too expensive.
The average 50-minute "hour" of psychotherapy costs between $75-150, though it can range between $50 and $200. The average divorce costs a minimum of $5,000 in legal fees, plus a $3,000 retainer.
Comparatively, the average babysitter costs $13.50 an hour.
Go out. Reconnect (with your partner, your friends, even just yourself). It's worth it!
"But going out already costs money," you counter. "The babysitter more than doubles the cost!" So go on some fun free outings! Summer is the perfect time for them, with local free movies and concerts all over the place. Or you could simply have a sunset picnic, complete with post-dessert stargazing.
You can also try a babysitting swap with a friend. You both need to get out, right? Take turns!
It’s so hard to find someone!
Services like Care.com and SitterCity can help you find sitters (bonus: you know the sitter is motivated and resourceful if they’ve bothered signing up on the site!). Local Facebook parenting groups are full of people looking for childcare — and their posts are often met with a barrage of glowing reviews of local sitters, recommendations from real friends and neighbors.
Erin Albin of Tappan has been babysitting for 8 years. "As I looked around me in Orangetown, I saw this massive disconnect between sitters and families. If you have a 3-year-old, what is the likelihood that you know any high school or college-age students?" says Albin. "As a child, I was blessed to have experienced, reliable and fun babysitters. The thought that parents and children in this community would be missing out on that just didn't sit well with me." The St. Thomas Aquinas College student organized a “Meet The Babysitters” night for local parents and sitters to get acquainted. She followed the evening with an organized document of babysitter resumes, along with a new Facebook group to keep parents and sitters connected. "If the service helps even one sitter or family get connected, then I will feel I have been successful," Albin says.
There are also many people who work with children who babysit on the side. Use great subtlety when approaching the 20-something leading your Mommy & Me class (you don’t want her employer to overhear!), but you’ll very likely find an excellent, qualified sitter with whom your children are already comfortable.
I don't trust anyone with my child.
We all want to keep our children safe. And terrible things can and do happen (it’s entirely possible they happened to us). But let’s look at the actual statistics to see just how scared we should really be.
Data from the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire reports that between 1992 and 2011, there was a 55 percent decline in physical abuse of children and a 64 percent decline in sexual abuse. Between 1997 and 2012 abductions by strangers declined by 51 percent.
In addition, nowadays a large percentage of teenagers take part in babysitter training programs which include everything from changing a diaper to performing infant and child CPR. Ultimately, the kid down the street might be more qualified to take care of your child in an emergency than you are.
I’m not promising that your child will be fine. I’m just saying that the odds are heavily in their favor.
I'm too tired to go out.
See Answer 1. In addition, how are you supposed to get energized if you don't do anything that stimulates you? If your entire life is a cycle of childcare, work, childcare, sleep, you're not really living. Nobody's saying you need to party into the wee hours like a debauched college kid. But is grabbing a glass of wine with a friend on a weeknight or getting out for a nice Saturday night dinner with your partner at a place with real tablecloths really so hard to rally the energy for once a month or so?
I'm not really into restaurants. Why pay so much extra money for something I could have cooked myself at home?
So go to a movie (remember those?). Go hear a band at a bar. Recapture your inner child at the arcade, as my husband and I have done for a few date nights. Whatever you'd be doing if you didn't have kids. Remember that? When you had fun going out and doing things you wanted to do?
Well, what do you want to do?